Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

Understanding Engineers

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.  The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”  The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”

The priest said, “Here comes the greens-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”

He said, “Hello George, What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

The greens-keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen.  They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!”

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”  The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything she can do for them.”  The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”

*****

Bahahaha!  Silly engineer!  The golf course is closed at night, of course!  😉

Have an awesome weekend and first April weekend!

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Posted in Quiz

What Part of Spring Are You?

This speaks to my gardener’s heart.  Open-mouthed smile 
Shh, don’t tell her I have it, she’ll want it back!  Winking smile

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You Are Blooming Flowers
You are an optimistic person by nature. In even the darkest times, you are hopeful about the future.
You feel truly blessed in life and can sometimes be overwhelmed with emotions.

You have an artist’s eye. You are always looking for beauty in the mundane.
You have a good sense of aesthetics, especially when it comes to shapes and color.

Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

The Engineer

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.”

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”

Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”

*****

BAhahaha!  Okay, now that was funny!  (no offense to any lawyers out there!)

Have a lovely weekend!

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