Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

Never Felt Better

In a court in Tralee, deep in County Kerry, Ireland, this conversation is reported to have taken place:

Lawyer: ‘At the scene of the accident, Mr O’Brien, did you tell the Garda officer that you had never felt better in your life?’

O’Brien the old farmer: ‘That’s right, sir.’

Lawyer: ‘Well then, Mr O’Brien, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client’s car hit your cart?’

O’Brien the farmer: ‘When the Garda arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Darcy, my dog, who was badly hurt, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I’ve never felt better in my life.’

*****

Context matters! 

Have a great weekend!

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Posted in PithyNess

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Posted in Holiday

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day!

And to those who are missing dads, or babies, or both, may you find a special comfort today that brings peace to your heart.  ❤

Love, Vanessa

Father's Day Theme (1)

Posted in Bible, Faith

Psalm 91:1

Psalm 91:1“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”

Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.

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Posted in Seasonal

Welcome Summer

Backgrounds Summer (23)

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Posted in Quiz

The Ultimate Color Test

 
When you are at peace, you are:

Thoughtful and sensitive

When you are moved to act, you are:

Confident and optimistic

When you are inspired, you are:

Spontaneous and adventurous

When your life is perfectly balanced, you are:

Connected to nature and the world

Your life’s purpose is:

To reach enlightenment

 
*****
Oh I don’t think I’m EVER spontaneous!  Total INFJ here, I have to schedule my spontaneity! 

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Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

Leaving The Vatican

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Moishe to represent them. Moishe asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, “I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay.”

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?

“Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe. “What happened?” they asked. “Well,” said Moishe, “First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here.”

“And then?” asked a woman.

“I don’t know,” said Moishe. “He took out his lunch and I took out mine.”

*****

I guess it’s all in how you look at things.

Have an epic weekend!

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