Posted in Topics

Topics: Gallant

My word for the week, today, is Gallant.

This is my son.  He’s had a solid appreciation for the Titan character in the Destiny video game, which is modeled after knights of yore.  Sometimes we’ll talk about those stories and legends.  He asked me once to define just what chivalry meant to me, which of course led to discussions on the nature of the relationship between men and women, both past and present, and everything in between.  Even at sixteen, he’s got some pretty hard-wired notions of how men are supposed to treat women, and the kind of relationship he hopes to have in the future.  She is going to be one lucky young lady, and I’m not just saying that because it’s my son, but because I know my son will treat her like a queen.  He will do all he can to treat her like a lady, to make sure she knows how precious she is to him, and he will protect her with everything he has.  Not because he thinks she’s incapable of protecting herself, but because he believes that as his sweetheart, she simply deserves to be treated like a cherished treasure. 

Plus, he’s not the type to let his heart go walking around outside without making sure it’s safe, lol.  He’ll be a “helicopter husband,” I’m sure. 

All rights reserved by Vanessence




1. Smartly or boldly stylish; dashing: a gallant feathered hat; cut a gallant figure at the coronation.


a. Unflinching in battle or action; valiant: put up a gallant resistance to the attackers.

b. Nobly or selflessly resolute: made a gallant attempt to save her friend’s reputation.

3. Stately; majestic: a gallant ship.


a. Courteously attentive especially to women; chivalrous.

b. Flirtatious; amorous.

n. (gə-lănt′, -länt′, găl′ənt)

1. A fashionable young man.


a. A man courteously attentive to women.

b. A male lover, especially one who is courteously attentive.

v. (gə-lănt′, -länt′) gal·lant·ed, gal·lant·ing, gal·lants

To woo or pay court to (a lady).


To play the gallant.

[Middle English galaunt, from Old French galant, present participle of galer, to rejoice, of Germanic origin; see wel- in Indo-European roots.]

gal′lant·ly adv.

American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

Gallant – definition of gallant by The Free Dictionary

Posted in Topics

Topics: Fragile

My word for the day, this week, is Fragile.

Raise your hand if you want to pronounce this word as “fra-jee’-lay” because you’ve seen A Christmas Story.  😀  All these years later, I still want to pronounce it that way every time I see it.  It makes me chuckle.

And then I think of that awful plastic lamp!  Which turned out to be way more fragile than I would have expected plastic to be, lol.

However, what really drew me to the word fragile this week is people and relationships.  People are fragile.  Our hearts are so easily broken.  And there are too many people only too eager to contribute to that breaking.

It should be a given that babies come with the label “Fragile, handle with care!”  Unfortunately, too many seem to forget that.  We never really lose that label either, even though lots of us may deny that.  I think that denial is a shield, personally.  I believe everyone wants to feel like their heart is being tenderly cradled in someone’s caring hand.

There is no weakness in kindness, in being tender-hearted.  I believe kindness requires strength.  Can you imagine being kind to someone who’s being a jerk to you?  Being a jerk back is easy.  Kindness is hard.

Kindness isn’t fragile, and it’s good for what is.

What’s on your mind this week?

All rights reserved by Vanessence





1. able to be broken easily

2. in a weakened physical state

3. delicate; light: a fragile touch.

4. slight; tenuous: a fragile link with the past.

[C17: from Latin fragilis, from frangere to break]

ˈfragilely adv

fragility, fragileness n

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014 Fragile – definition of fragile by The Free Dictionary

Posted in Topics

Topics: Erratic

Today, my word for the week is Erratic.

Right now, it seems to suit me, even though I don’t like being erratic.  I like consistency and routine.  I don’t care for surprises and spontaneity.  Impulsiveness worries me.  I have had enough surprises and I don’t like them anymore. 

However, I am in a cycle of transition.  Going from a vampire schedule to a morning glory one.  Well, trying anyway, lol.  Trying to get back on track with my diet, with my cleaning routine, blah blah blah.  I know I sound like the most boring person on earth, and I sound that way because it’s true.  And I am totally good with that.  I find comfort in the boring now.  My “wild child” days, tame as they probably seem in hindsight, are long done now.   

Strange as it may sound, I feel like once I get under all the erraticism I am currently working through, I will get back to the heart of me.  Chaos may currently reign, but no chaos every withstood a good dose of order, and I got organization in spades.  😀

What are you focused on or working through this week?

All rights reserved by Vanessence


Also found in: Thesaurus, Medical, Legal, Encyclopedia, Wikipedia.




1. Having no fixed or regular course; wandering: the erratic flight of a moth.

2. Lacking consistency, regularity, or uniformity: an erratic heartbeat.

3. Deviating from the customary course in conduct or opinion; eccentric: erratic behavior.

n. Geology

A rock fragment that has been transported by ice to a location other than its place of origin and that may range in size from a pebble to a large boulder.

[Middle English erratik, from Old French erratique, from Latin errāticus, from errāre, to wander; see ers- in Indo-European roots.]

er·rat′i·cal·ly adv.

er·rat′i·cism (-ĭ-sĭz′əm) n.

American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.




1. irregular in performance, behaviour, or attitude; inconsistent and unpredictable

2. having no fixed or regular course; wandering


3. (Geological Science) a piece of rock that differs in composition, shape, etc, from the rock surrounding it, having been transported from its place of origin, esp by glacial action

4. an erratic person or thing

[C14: from Latin errāticus, from errāre to wander, err]

erˈratically adv

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014


(ɪˈræt ɪk)

1. inconsistent or changeable in behavior; unpredictable.

2. deviating from the usual or proper course; eccentric.

3. having no certain or definite course; wandering; not fixed.

4. (of a boulder, etc.) carried by glacial ice and deposited some distance from its place of origin.


5. an erratic or eccentric person.

6. an erratic boulder or the like.

[1325–75; Middle English < Latin errāticus=errā(re) to wander, err + -ticus adj. suffix]

er•rat′i•cal•ly, adv.

er•rat′i•cism, n.

Random House Kernerman Webster’s College Dictionary, © 2010 K Dictionaries Ltd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.

Erratic – definition of erratic by The Free Dictionary

Posted in Topics

Topics: Destiny

Today, my word for the week is Destiny.

I can’t even see that word now without thinking of my kids.  For us, Destiny is a video game.  My kids have been avid players for about two years now.  I mean, we have some homemade Destiny type costumes, we have some Destiny artwork, Destiny clothes, Destiny posters on their walls, stickers for their game console – even my husband plays sometimes.  Destiny is big at my place.  We even keep up with Destiny news in the gamer magazines.  Everyone even mimics some of the character voices and expressions on occasion.  Yes, even I will pop off with a line every so often.  😉  Destiny has brought our family together in a few ways.  It’s given my husband a great way to spend time with the kids doing something they love, and there have been plenty of times that we’ve spent just watching the kids play instead of watching a movie, since the game can be so interactive and immersive. 

As for destiny in the sense of predetermination, I don’t think I believe in that.  I do believe the future is known, but not that our actions are outside of our control.  It’s a bit hard to explain, I guess.  Me knowing you are going to click the red X button when you’re done reading, does not mean I’m making you click the red X button.  I just know you will.  Does that help?  That’s basically my view on it.  🙂

Do you have a word for the week?

All rights reserved by Vanessence


Also found in: Thesaurus, Legal, Idioms, Encyclopedia, Wikipedia.



n. pl. des·ti·nies

1. The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one’s lot.

2. A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control: “Marriage and hanging go by destiny” (Robert Burton).

3. The power or agency thought to predetermine events: Destiny brought them together. Destiny – definition of destiny by The Free Dictionary

Posted in Topics

Topics: Caliber

Today, this week, my word is Caliber:



1. A level of superiority that is usually high:

merit, quality, stature, value, virtue, worth.

2. Degree of excellence:

class, grade, quality.

The American Heritage® Roget’s Thesaurus. Copyright © 2013, 2014 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

Caliber – definition of caliber by The Free Dictionary

No, not caliber as in bullets, although that could be fun, too.  Have you see those 50 caliber kind?  They’re huge!  But, I digress.

I hope to be a high caliber person.  It’s a goal.  I often think that sometimes some people people are just born as high caliber people.  They seem to have some innate sense of dignity and honor.  Other times, I think that all people have the capacity to be high caliber and that some just choose not to be.  Sometimes I think some people are just born broken, other times I think there was an event or circumstance that broke them.

There’s a little riddle my husband likes to use, it goes, “If a man steals a horse, does that make him a horse thief or prove him a horse thief?”  Sometimes, watching people ponder this can be as telling as their answer. 

High caliber people don’t steal horses.

I have a long way to go.  I know this.  I don’t know that I’ll ever get there, in fact I probably won’t, because who ever actually achieves that level?  But I can try, and I will.  Every day is a chance to be who I hope to be, to continue striving. 

My future self is depending on me. 

All rights reserved by Vanessence

Posted in Topics

Topics: Balance

Today, this week, my word is Balance.




1. A weighing device, especially one consisting of a rigid beam horizontally suspended by a low-friction support at its center, with identical weighing pans hung at either end, one of which holds an unknown weight while the effective weight in the other is increased by known amounts until the beam is level and motionless. Also called scale.

2. A state of equilibrium or parity characterized by cancellation of all forces by equal opposing forces.

3. The power or means to decide: matters that fell outside the judge’s balance.


a. A state of bodily equilibrium: thrown off balance by a gust of wind.

b. The ability to maintain bodily equilibrium: Gymnasts must have good balance.

5. A harmonious or satisfying arrangement or proportion of parts or elements, as in a design.

6. An influence or force tending to produce equilibrium; counterpoise.

7. The difference in magnitude between opposing forces or influences.

Balance – definition of balance by The Free Dictionary

I know so many struggle with finding balance in their lives.  We even have a pet phrase for it!  “Work-life balance.”  For lots of people, my husband included, I know it feels like too many companies don’t even know what that means for their employees.  But, that’s a particular topic for another post.

For me, balance boils down to the difference between taking care of everyone else, and taking care of me. 

I’m a firm believer in being a supportive wife and my husband and I have a more traditional kind of marriage where he works outside the home, and I do the things inside the home.  I think of it as the external provision he provides, and the internal provision I provide.  I stay home and homeschool the kids, maintain the place (if you could call it that, lol) and take care of my husband.  The man gets up at 5:30 am to go out in the cold and the heat, to deal with people who are not necessarily pleasant to deal with, to provide the income for us to have what we have.  So, I have no problems making the man a sandwich, or doing other things for him.  It’s how I appreciate his efforts.  He’s always asking how he can help around the house as a way to appreciate me and my efforts here.  [For the record, I don’t let him.  I’m more of a “get out of my kitchen!” kind of girl, lol.] 

However, the kids are getting older and while they still need me to a certain extent, they are beginning that phase of “out-growing” me.  They don’t need me to give them a bath, that sort of thing.  Their baby days are gone, but I do still need to continue teaching them things about being an adult, so while my job is not really diminished, it has shifted.

It feels like it’s okay now to provide a little taking care of me time.  I’ve had zero issues setting aside my personal wants in favor of my kids.  It’s what moms do.  But now, now it feels like my time is growing.  Time for me to do some of the things I enjoy doing.  The trick is finding the balance.  I think I can do it.  I believe I can.  I think I can juggle this thing.  Maybe not gracefully, though!  lol 

Time will show. 

How about you?  Have you had trouble balancing things in your life?  Have you managed to find a successful, workable balance?  If so, how? 

All rights reserved by Vanessence

Posted in Topics

Topics: Absence

How’s your 2018 so far? 

Me, I got goals.  I don’t know how I lost so much focus in 2017, but I’m bound and determined to have a better year this year.  I know part of my issue toward the end of the year (Sept) was the death of my computer, but I’d lost it long before then, really.  The dead computer just pushed me from unfocussed to some other galactic map, so to speak.  Bad diet, bad habits, bad discipline, blah blah blah.  I’m sure you’re not unfamiliar with that drill.  We humans drop the ball from time to time, and this year was my turn to drop it with a resounding crash.

So I’m going to do better this year.  I’ve been asked to help with web stuff for another ministry (yay!) and I’m going to really focus on getting not just my act together, but getting my soaping business off the ground. 

I told my kids this was “The Year of the Purge.”  They looked nervous.  These are kids who haven’t played with some of their toys in years but don’t want to get rid of them for the simple fact that they’ve had them a long time. 

Uh, no.  Just, no.  I got junk I need to toss, and so do they.  My husband is secretly cheering, I know.  He learned years ago not to press me on getting rid of things.  He deals with his own stuff but I’ve warned him he’d better not get “delete happy” with any of my stuff, lol.  But I’ve accumulated things and now I need to purge things.  (No, sorry Babe, not the purple coat.) 

I’ve managed to get through the 1000+ things that were backlogged in my feed Reader.  I can’t even remember the last time I’ve done that.  So, it’s a step toward progress.

And like all the best progress, it will happen a little at a time, and I’m fine with that. 

For a long time I’ve been trying to do this blog series thing where I pick a word beginning with successive letters of the alphabet and do a post about it.  It appeals to my “list-i-ness.”  Twenty-six letters, fifty-two weeks, ahh, the symmetry! 

Yeah, I’ve failed each time I’ve tried. 

But, I’m going to try again! 

Today, this week, my word is absence. 

ab·sence (ăb′səns) n.

1. The state of being away.

2. The time during which one is away.

3. Lack; want: an absence of leadership.

4. The state of being absent-minded; inattentiveness: absence of mind.

American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

Absence – definition of absence by The Free Dictionary

It jumped out at me as I was browsing A words. 

There are people absent from my life whom I miss.  And will continue to miss. 

There is a serious absence of discipline in my life, but that’s about to change. 

I can be profoundly absent-minded at times, especially when my diet is bad.  I can remember my phone number from when I was 5, I won’t forget your birthday, but ask me what I was going to get from the other room and I will have forgotten by the time I get there. 

And my husband, who has been home these last few weeks on vacation, is heading back to work today leaving his absence sorely felt around the place.  He took such good care of me and the kids when we all fell sick right as his vacation was starting.  I felt bad, but he said it gave him a chance to be there for all of us in ways he’d never really been able to before, and he was actually glad to be the caretaker.  He always makes me laugh, this man of mine, and the kids, too.  He’s a bright spot in our lives, and we are really going to miss him.  He’s a part of me.  I commented to my son once that I felt like I really “got Dad,” and he replied, “Sometimes I think you get Dad better than Dad gets Dad.”  I learn people, it’s what I do, and after nearly 20 years, I think I’ve learned him pretty well.  😀 

His absence is going to make this place feel pretty empty.  Even after all these years, I still don’t like it when he’s gone. 

All rights reserved by Vanessence