Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

Wrong Answer

Two bright young engineers applied for the same position at a computer company. Since they had identical qualifications, the company asked the two applicants to take a ten-question test. At the conclusion of the test, one of the applicants was called into the manager’s office.

“I have graded the test, and you both scored nine correct answers and got one answer wrong. Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to the other applicant.”

“And why would you choose him if we both got nine questions correct?” asked the rejected applicant.

“We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed,” said the Department manager.

“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?” the rejected applicant inquired.

“Simple,” said the Department manager, “The other gentleman answered Question #5, ‘I don’t know.’ Your answer to Question #5 was, ‘Neither do I.'”

*****

Ooh, hoisted by his own petard!   Hahaha!

LOL  What exactly is a petard anyway? 😉

Have a lovely weekend!

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Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

A Day in the Life of Larry

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up.. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Larry?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘ Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.’ What’s the matter, asked Larry ‘Giving up?’

Larry’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,”Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ? ”

*****

That Larry is my kind of kid, lol.  😀

Have a wonderful weekend!

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Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

For Sale

Sloppy communications can be humorous to those not involved but make life difficult for the one trying to convey a message. I was told the following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row – the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake.
                                   MONDAY:
For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.
                                   TUESDAY:
Notice: We regret having erred In R. D. Jones’ ad yesterday. It should have read “One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M.”
                                WEDNESDAY:
Notice: R. D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: “For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him.”
                                 THURSDAY:
Notice: I, R. D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I intentionally broke it. Don’t call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she has now quit.

*****

Just goes to show that words mean things!  lol

Have an amazing weekend!  And I mean that!

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Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

Memorial Service

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he had for many years.
When his dog sadly died, Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying: “Father Patrick, my dog is dead. Could you possibly say Mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick told the farmer: “No, we can’t have services for an animal in church. But I’ll tell you what, there’s a new denomination down the road, and – no telling what they believe in – maybe they’ll do something for your pet.”
Muldoon said: “I’ll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough of a donation for the service?”
“Oh, why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic??”

*****

Hahaha, cute!  And you know, all dogs go to heaven! 😉

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Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

How Long Do I Have?

Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine”, said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.”
“For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80?”
“Well” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?”
“No” Sam replied.
“Do you eat fatty meat or sweets?”
“No” said Sam “I am very careful about what I eat.”
“How about your activities? Do you engage in thrilling behaviors like speeding or skiing?”
“No” said Sam taken aback, “I would never engage in dangerous activities.”
“Well,” said the doctor, “then why in the world would you want to live to be 80?

*****

Hahaha, an oldie but a goodie!

May you have a fun-filled weekend!

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