Mom: Well, men and women are just different, in a lot of ways …
Son: Yeah? Like how?
Daughter: Women have periods.
Son: Well, men have exclamation points. But mostly we have question marks.
That boy just cracks me up. 😀
son – have you seen those human Barbie people? I was like, wow …
me – that’s nothing, have you seen the human Ken doll? Totally creepy!
daughter – that’s literally plastic surgery, making themselves look like plastic dolls
son – yeah, I want to ask, can I spin your head around and squish it and pop it off?
me – *laughs* oh my gosh!
son – what? I used to do that with V’s Barbies all the time!
Mom: What kind of soap do you want me to make?
Daughter: Orange scented flower shaped soap!
Son: Whatever you made last time is fine.
Mom: Last time I made you rain scented black soap.
Son: Yeah, that’s fine.
Mom: You don’t want to try something new? Like, pine scented green soap?
Son: No, I’m good with what I have.
Daughter: That means when you get out of the shower, you won’t smell like anything, you’ll just smell like you just got out of the shower, without BO.
Son: Perfect! I don’t want to smell like a tree, anyway.
This is why feminine floral, fruity scents and flower molds dominate the homemade soap industry, lol.
We were chatting about soaping, he had several questions, and then he asked, “So, you say you’d like to make this a business, what’s keeping you from making it a business?”
I kind of laughed. “Well, you’ve seen my place! Space, really, at the heart of it. I just don’t have the room. I could make soap all day long, but without a place to store it for drying, I just don’t know how I could make this more than a hobby.”
He replied, “What if I could get you the space?”
Husband scrounging through cupboards looking for something to eat: Oh! Coconut milk! What kind of deliciousness are you going to make with that?!
Wife: I found this great recipe for soap I want to try!
Husband: Soap?! Seriously? *dejected sigh*
Brother: So Toland the Shattered-
Sister: Wait, why is he Toland the Shat Heard?-
Both pause as mom about splits her guts laughing.
Sister: What? What did I say? Why is mom laughing so hard?
Mom: *Grumbling about the recently discovered virus on her computer. Grumble, grumble. GRUMBLE.*
Daughter: Is the plural for virus “virii” or “viruses”?
Mom: I think both are used, but I think “virii” is the more correct form.*
Son: I want to make it so the plural for squid is “squad.”
*Mom was wrong, it is in fact viruses. Dictionary.com
This was in my email, and this is the conversation that followed.
Mom: AAAHHH! What the heck is that thing?!
Daughter, who came running to see why mom yelled: Who would send you such a thing?
Mom: It was in my LOLcats feed.
Daughter: Then it was a LOLspider.
Mom: There is no such thing as a LOLspider. They are not funny.
Daughter: There is only AAAAHHHHspiders.
Mom: Now you’re on a roll today!
My kids to make me laugh!