Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

Wife vs. Husband

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, ‘Relatives of yours?’

‘Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’

*****

This one always makes me chuckle!

Have a great weekend!

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Posted in PithyNess

PithyNess

Quotes Winter (5)

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Posted in Bible, Faith

James 4:10

James 4:10“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.

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Posted in Personal

Chewing the Fat

Have you ever had a January start out so rough that it felt like the whole year was doomed?

I’ve kind of had a January like that. 

I think I’ve spent more time in bed trying to recover than I’ve spent doing anything else.  If it hasn’t been one thing, it’s been another.

Thankfully, I’ve had my blog on auto-pilot and had some posts already up, but I do have a lot to catch up on in the blogosphere.

One tiny bright spot though, I did manage to finish rendering my bacon fat.  Now, that may not seem like much to you, but  you reach for any silver lining you can find sometimes and it’s nice to check a box on my “done” list, so I’m claiming it.  🙂

There’s nothing like a plate of eggs cooked in bacon butter to make a body feel better. 

And how has your 2020 been so far?

Love, Vanessa

20200117_125158

20200117_124754

Posted in Quiz

How Should You Stay Warm?

You Should Stay Warm by Bundling Up

You are a rational and logical person. You are good at solving problems.
So if you’re cold, it makes sense to just put another layer on. You are very practical that way.
You are rarely unprepared in life. You would never forget your gloves and hat on a cold day.
You’re ready for anything that comes your way. By being responsible, you find it easy to relax and enjoy life.

 

 

This is one of the results from the quiz, How Should You Stay Warm?

*****

Thank goodness for furry, fuzzy blankets!

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Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

Day in Court

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court …

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

***

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

***

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death..

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.

***

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

***

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No..

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

*****

That last one!  I like to imagine the lawyer’s face!  😀

Have an epic weekend!

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Posted in PithyNess

PithyNess

Quotes Winter (8)

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Posted in Bible, Faith

Matthew 7:12

Matthew 7:12“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.

All rights reserved by Vanessence