Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing

Funnies

Wisdom of the Sages

1. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

2. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

3. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

4. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

6. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

7. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

8. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

9. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

10. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

11. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

12. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

13. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

14. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

15. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

AND . . . (drum roll please?)

16. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

*****

Hahaha!  These are cute!  I think I’m a pro at #4, lol.

Have an epic last weekend of September!

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7 thoughts on “Funnies

  1. Oh haha. Before I even read your comment, I was going to say the same thing. Especially lately, laying low with a cold and housework is the last thing on my mind. Great minds think alike Ness! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These are great! I know plenty of folks that have #2 down pat. 🙂
    #11 I believe in a balanced diet: a peanut butter cookie in one hand and a chocolate chip cookie in the other.
    #8, So, I may as well have that shrimp and cheesecake. Note, I didn’t not say ‘slice of cheesecake’. 🙂

    Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha! I know lots of people who have that #2 down pat, too! 😀

      I like your thinking – a cheesecake should qualify as an individual serving. With a sign that says, “Get your own cheesecake, this one’s mine!” 😀 Especially if it has blueberry topping on it!

      Liked by 1 person

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