Posted in Personal

Teary

You know those days, where you just feel things more intensely than other days for no apparent reason? 

Yeah.

I had one of those yesterday.

I don’t know why – we had a fairly uneventful, and relaxing weekend.  We came to some decisions about how we’d like to observe Shabbat going forward but that wasn’t so much emotional as it’s something that just feels right for our family.  And it means I get to shop for a new crock pot, lol.  Amazon, here I come!

Then I caught this email newsletter that had a video from this free e-course Dressing Your Truth thing I signed up for months ago, but never followed through on.  For some reason, yesterday I did.  And then started kind of crying as I watched her describe the different (what she calls) energy types.  It’s weird, there are some days I feel like I know myself better than anyone else, then other days I feel like I haven’t gotten myself figured out at all.  But listening to someone else describe me was kind of … emotional.  I guess it touched a nerve.

Then one of my blogger friends, Kate over at Will Wally Wonder had this post about tracking down people from some old treasures she’s found at a market.  Ancestry Obsession  The thought of someone doing that, caring so much for the history of a thing that she’d try to find the descendants of the person to whom that thing belonged so she could return it – well that just brought on another wave of the weepies.  That is just so flipping cool to do that, take that much time and care.  Seriously awesome, Kate!

And  then Rara wrote a post on grief, and I cried.  unpolished musings on grief – rarasaur  It’s been a year since she lost her husband, and just last month she lost a dear friend.  My heart breaks for her.  I know what grief feels like.  And I’m reaching real hard but my arms aren’t quite long enough for a real live hug yet, but I’m trying, Ra, I’m trying!

Then today I went ahead and re-did a video tribute I made a few years ago for Memorial Day.  The music I picked and the images always make me cry.  Every. Single. Time.  Figured I’d just go ahead and get all the waterworks out of the way.  Now I can upload it to YouTube so I can share it here Monday. 

Normally, I wouldn’t even tell you about such things because I’m the stoic, you know?  I’m the one who holds it together.  I’m the one who tries to be upbeat.  I’m the one who doesn’t share unpleasant or sad things, especially tears.  I have long held tears to be a private thing.  But, just because I try not to make a big deal of feelings and emotions doesn’t mean I don’t have them.  I just don’t have them out loud.  Usually.  But … but I’m trying to be a little more open here.  I’m feeling closer to you guys, and I just wanted to let you know how I am.  I’m fine, really, I’m good.  Just been a little watery lately, lol. 

Now I have to get ready for my date with AmazonWinking smile

Thank you for listening.  *hugs*

All rights reserved by Vanessence

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “Teary

  1. I’m glad you wrote all this down Ness and I hope it helped in some way. You know it’s normal and probably healthy to have those “intense” days when you can let it all out. I do it a lot and trust me sometimes the waterworks is therapeutic in cleansing us. But I do hope it eases Ness. Sending you BIG hugs of comfort, support and friendship from across the ocean. ♥♡

    Like

    1. Aw, thank you so much, sweetheart. I don’t know if it helped, I suppose in some ways it did, but it others it made me nervous to put it out there, you know?

      Yes, sometimes those tears can be cleansing, you are so right. Thank you for the reminder, and for all the love and support. It means the world to me. *hugs* ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know what you mean about ‘putting it out there’ but it really can’t do any harm. You’re the one that matters and if it helps in any way then it’s good.
        As for my love and support, any time Ness. Absolutely any time. xox 🙂

        Like

  2. I so understand what you mean! Sometimes, I just get the feels and/or all the reasons seems to occur all at once. In fact, I might get teary knowing my blog post made you emotional. Ra’s post got me too.

    Like

    1. The feels, yes! Like that!

      Yes, your post really touched my heart. Big time. 🙂

      Ra’s got me also, she’s been through so much yet somehow manages to still keep her joy. She’s pretty amazing, too.

      A lot of feels here! 🙂 I guess it’s good that we have them because I suspect the world would be a lot worse off if we didn’t, right?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I find writing to be my best outlet. Even if a piece doesn’t make it to my blog. Hope it continues to bring you relief.

        Like

What Are Your Thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s