Many years ago, I had a new neighbor, and we played this little game to see if we could describe each other based only on the way we’d decorated our homes. She left no inch of her walls bare, and I described her as a woman who wanted everyone to know whose home they were in the minute they walked in the door.
She described me as pregnant.
Uh, say whu?!
She laughed and explained, “No, it’s just that you have blank spots, like you are waiting for just the right thing, and you’d rather leave a space blank than put something there you hate. It’s like when you’re pregnant and waiting for the baby to arrive.”
I had to admit, I hadn’t realized I was so obvious. And that description reminds me of pending.
It seems there are lots of things in my life that are pending, waiting for something to happen, or stop happening, before they can occur. Most things involve money, but that’s probably true for most of us. Can’t do [insert thing here] pending the income tax return. Or there might be other priorities, like, can’t get [insert thing here] pending getting the kids [insert critical thing they need]. Maybe it’s another goal, like, not going to get a new bathing suit pending weight loss. Eh, well, I didn’t want to go swimming anyway.
Some pending things are worse than others. Pending our divorce. Pending the funeral. Waiting for grief to become more manageable or bearable can be the hardest wait ever. The burden of waiting can be crushing.
Pending surgery. Pending the diagnosis. How scary!
There are also joyful pending things. Pending the move to our new home. Pending the arrival of the new baby. Impatience can be excruciating, and our excitement can be overwhelming.
I’ve spent time waiting, pending all those things, except for surgeries and diagnoses, but I’ve waited with those who have.
And I’m still waiting, things are still pending. Sometimes I know what they are, and other times, it’s just that sense of something’s going to happen.
Yep, still pending.