Posted in Funnies, Jokes, Laughing


Actual 9-1-1 Calls

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.


The Best for last::
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!


Okay, I get that people are under a lot of stress if they’re calling 9-1-1, but these are pretty funny.  I hope the outcomes were good for all!

Happy Independence Day weekend!

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2 thoughts on “Funnies

  1. Ha! Those are good. The first one reminds me of something that happened to me at work. This being Canada, with our socialized health care system, we ask the patients at my work for their Ontario Health Card number when they book their first appointment. Then they have to bring the actual card to their appointment, because it doubles as photo i.d. I was asking one woman to bring her health card to the appointment, and she kept thinking that I was asking her to bring her housecoat. Like, maybe we didn’t have paper gowns for the physical exam part of the appointment. “Please bring your health card…” “My housecoat?” “No, your HEALTH CARD.” “My housecoat?” *sigh* We eventually figured it out! 🙂


    1. ROFL! Okay, I can see how “an address” could be misunderstood as “on a dress” in a stressful moment like a 911 call, but how does one mistake health card for housecoat? That’s just funny. 😀 And I’m glad it was all worked out, without any housecoats necessary.


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